Real problems need real solutions that last. Have you ever swept away a spiderweb only to have it reappear? You didn't kill the spider! It's the same with children/teens/students. We must find the real problem causing the behaviors that concern us and eliminate it - kill the spider - if we want behaviors to permanently change!

For instance:

• Have you thought you can improve children's test scores and grades by drilling facts and practicing tests? That won't help youth who believe they're incapable of learning. We know how to kill that spider.
  
• Have you separated two girls so they'll stop talking only to discover that one doesn't stop? Perhaps she is lonely with no one to talk to at home. She needs conversation and friends. Her desperation and the associated behaviors may die when teachers check in with her at the beginning of class and model and teach appropriate boundaries and friendship skills. She needs belonging.
  
• Have you tried to help teachers engage students by improving their methods only to discover the new methods don't solve the problems you observed? Some students know how to learn, but don't know why they should. Helping students identify their purpose kills the apathy spider. 

Dr. Kathy Koch has discovered real, lasting solutions for common problems such as bullying, academic apathy, judgmentalism, mean-spirited competitiveness, impatience, entitlement attitudes, and fear of failure. Specifically she understands that problems are rooted in one or more of our five core needs of security, identity, belonging, purpose, and competence and that the needs are interconnected for problem-solving power. She also understands how the culture is changing the ways children and teens are trying to meet their needs. Imagine being able to assign any problem to one or more of the core needs. Don't just imagine it - learn how! Identifying the spider and not just sweeping away the web makes all the difference.

Some youth aren't applying themselves because they've often been told they'll never amount to anything. Believing that, they decide that studying won't help. This is an identity and competence problem. Just teaching study strategies won't solve the entire problem. They need new beliefs about themselves.

• Some children and teens are struggling to find and keep friends. You determine that they've earned identities of "gossip," "bossy," or "bully" because of their regular behavior. This looks like a belonging problem, but it starts as an identity and security problem. Teaching friendship skills may help, but these students also need to learn new character qualities to develop self-security and healthier identities. 
• Some students aren't engaged in class or applying themselves. They often ask why they have to do what they're told. This is a purpose problem. You discover that they know their weaknesses, but not their strengths. This is an identity problem. These students need help identifying strengths because they're more likely to believe they have purpose when they know what they do well. This new belief can result in better behavior and increased competence. 

Because of the interactive nature of the Five Core Needs Model, it is powerful for problem solving. Teens, children, and adults can learn to discern why they are feeling the way they are and behaving the way they are and what they can do about it. (In other words, they'll find their own spiders and figure out how to kill them!)

(For more information on the Five Core Needs Model go here)

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Audiences: public school teachers, Christian school teachers, parents, grandparents, volunteers who work with children/teens in any setting, social workers, counselors/therapists, chldren/teens in school or church, families.

Format: half-day, full-day, 90-minute overview, 60-75 minutes when children are present with their parents, 30-60 minutes for school assembly or chapel.